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You Can Read Anyone By David Lieberman

"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy." ---- George Carlin

When you have a sneaking suspicion another person may be up to something underhanded, you are left with three options, none of which is often productive: confront, ignore, or try to gather more information. If you confront the person, not only does it put him or her on the defensive, but, if it turns out you are wrong, there is a good chance you may appear paranoid or jealous, and the relationship may suffer. Ignoring the situation can be difficult and possibly damaging to you. Finally, trying to gather more facts on your own is time-consuming and can be counter-productive, if you are caught snooping around.

Whenever you get a feeling deep-down that something dishonest is going on, such as your child doing drugs, your employee is stealing, or a friend is not loyal, then use this technique to find out quickly, and easily, what a person is really up to, or has on his mind.

This technique virtually guarantees you can find out within minutes if someone has something to hide. It works like a Rorschach test, or what is commonly referred to as an inkblot test. The Rorschach test consists of abstract, bilaterally symmetrical splotches of inkblots. The theory behind the test is that a person’s interpretation of the shapes will reveal his or her unconscious attitudes and thoughts. With our technique, we use the same theory but employ it in an entirely new way--verbally. You ask a question that does not accuse the other person of anything, but rather alludes to the situation. Then, by simply gauging the response, you will be able to find out if the person has something to hide. In this way you are able to bring up a particular subject and find out if someone is comfortable, or concerned, with the topic, all without making a single accusation. Let's look at an example.

A sales manager thinks one of his salespeople may be stealing office supplies. Asking outright, “Have you been stealing from the company?” would put her on the defensive immediately, making it nearly impossible to get to the truth. If she is not guilty, she will of course tell the manager she has not been stealing. If she is guilty, she will most likely lie and say she has not pilfered supplies. Instead, the manager might simply say something non-threatening, such as: “Jill, I’m wondering if you could help me with something. It’s come to my attention that someone in the sales department has been taking home office supplies for personal use. Do you have any idea how we can put a stop to this?” Now he simply observes her reaction.

If she asks questions and seems interested in the topic of conversation, he can be reasonably sure she is not doing the same activity, but if she becomes very uncomfortable and seeks to change the subject, then she is likely engaged in a similar behavior. The manager will notice an immediate shift in her demeanor and attitude.

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If she is innocent of the behavior, she is likely to offer her advice and be pleased he sought out her opinion. If she is guilty, he will notice her becoming uncomfortable, and she will probably assure him she would never do anything like stealing. No reason exists for her to bring herself into the picture unless, of course, she is the one who feels guilty.

The technique can also be applied by actually asking the other person for his advice. A hospital administrator suspects a doctor is drinking on duty. She might say, “Dr. Smith, I’d like to get your advice on something. A colleague of mine, at another hospital, has a problem with one of her doctors. She feels he may be drinking while on call. Do you have any suggestions on how she can best approach this doctor?” Again, if he is guilty of the same behavior, he will likely become very uncomfortable. If he is not drinking on duty, then he will be pleased you sought his advice and will offer it willingly and happily.

This article is based on Dr. Lieberman's latest work, YOU CAN READ ANYONE, available in paperback and as an ebook, wherever books are sold.

David J. Lieberman, Ph.D., is an award-winning author and internationally recognized leader in the field of human behavior and interpersonal relationships. Techniques based on his seven books, which have been translated into eighteen languages and include two New York Times bestsellers, are used by the FBI, The Department of the Navy, Fortune 500 companies, and by governments, corporations, and mental health professionals in more than twenty-five countries. He has appeared as a guest expert on more than two hundred programs such as The Today Show, Fox News, and The View, and his work has been featured in publications around the world.

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Some Kids Have Difficulty Learning To Read By Ann Marier

It seems that practically every day, there is a new fad in teaching kids to read. Fortunately, kids learn to read using a wide variety of styles, so No matter what is in fashion, most of the kids will have very little trouble. Unfortunately, No matter what teaching curriculum is used, some kids have trouble learning to read. There is no single answer on how to learn reading, but if your kid is having difficulties with it, there are many things to try. Unfortunately, there are even more things to avoid.

You see, teaching kids how to read is big business. This means that anytime someone can come up with a new program that promises to solve all of your learning to read problems, they can make a lot of money off of it. The more unscrupulous the business, the more money they stand to make off of learning to read. When I worked as a tutor, I saw this all the time. We would often lose kids to clinics that would promise to raise their reading level 3 to 5 years in six weeks! This promise was impossible, of course, but they would prey off of hopeful parents who just wanted to solve their kids reading problems and have it over with. In reality, learning to read – especially for learning disabled students – can be a long and difficult struggle. Nonetheless, it is worth sticking to it.

If your child is having a problem learning to read, it is crucial that you get him or her tutor. Above all, do not go to one of the big learning centers. The best places to learn to read are small, independent tutoring clinics. Learning to read from the big factories is almost always a mistake. They tend to teach out of a book, and are not able to tailor their programs to individual children's learning styles. As a parent of a student having trouble learning to read, you need to understand as quickly as possible that there is no simple answer to your child's learning problems. Only through a combination of strategies will your child successfully learn reading.

Unfortunately, a lot of parents make bad decisions at crucial stages. If your child is having trouble learning to read, the longer you wait, the worse things get. He or she will feel stupid, hopeless, and worthless. I have even seen kids give up learning to read because they have little success with the programs their parents try.

Ann Marier a prolific writer has written many articles about family health and house and garden Topics.

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